Moving on.... :(

DustBuster · Yearling

Moving on.... :(

prospect · Advanced

I so cried when i read your story.

Many of us have been there. When I started riding my 3 yr old I knew it was time to let my older horse go. I had 5 great years with my older gelding and loved him with all my heart - could do anything with him. But he was struggling with level 3 work, had a bit of arthritis in his hock and was not enjoying the work anymore. Loved to hack and ride around but not the level of work I wanted to do.

My young boy shows so much potential and every time I rode him, my old guy was upset. He could feel the shift in power and they hated each other.

So I made the really hard decision to sell the older gelding. He is happy and went to a great home and they totally love him.

And now the bond with my now 4 yr old is growing and riding himis incredible. He tries so hard, is starting to get it and I can't wait to see what the future holds for us.

Once everything is settled for your horse and you start working with a new horse things will start to get easier.

But you have to cry.

justice · Grand Prix

A good horseman does right by his horse, no matter how much it might hurt. I would think it is pretty normal to be on an emotional rollercoaster about someone you love, 'specially when a dramatic change such as this occurs.... Kudos to you for doing right by your horse and for planning on keeping him, too. You are SO fortunate to be able to! Being responsible isn't always easy but it keep one in contact with the real world.

Welcome to the forum, I hope you pull up a chair and stay a while : )

DustBuster · Yearling

Thanks so much, both of you!

I'm so glad to know I'm not alone!

It's going to be financially hard to keep both my gelding and my new horse, but I'm honestly planning on making a career in this industry somehow, and I'm fortunate enough to have a very understanding husband (who did NOT roll his eyes when I said I want another horse!) and I'm a stay at home mom of an 18 month old little boy, so I have a lot of time to think. lol.

I think I would die if I had to sell my gelding, and even if keeping him meant I couldn't buy another horse, I would sacrifice that just to keep him. I'm going to start off some dressage lessons on my geldings best friend, so I'm hoping when I go to the field to get him, my gelding doesn't get upset. I'm going to make sure that regardless what kind of new horse I get, my gelding still gets spoiled rotten!

Prospect, your story is so similar to mine! I'm so excited for a new partnership! My gelding and I have always had a close bond, regardless of our fights over the years.... so I can't wait to have another bond with a horse that doens't give me that fight! It makes me want to jump up and down in excitement! lol.

And I've definately shed a lot of tears already, I'm sure there will be more as the year goes on. I'll always compare any horse to my gelding and he's taught me so much. I think I'm actually going to look for a mare, just to give myself something different then what I have with my gelding.

Thanks so much again for the support, you guys rock! :)

Nikki Salo · Grand Prix

DustBuster, I have to echo what Prospect and Justice have already said. It is a tough choice you've made, but as Justice said -- you've done right by your horse. And to boot, you're able to keep him and have another mount. So in a sense you'll be able to still "hold the reins" of your boy's life, although you'll have a part boarder, you'll still have final say on how he is managed. And it is nice just to have a horse to hop on once in a while for a boot around and not have to worry about training every second of every ride.

Keep us updated aww

barnfrog · Advanced

Are you saying you are quiting with him because of his injury, or because of the lack of properly accepting contact. Imho, if its the later, it is merely a puzzle to be solved methodically. The horse has to work into a connection, mobilize the jaw (perhaps start with in hand work), not 'give to the hand'. If you are going to make a career with horses, then think about how to change the reactions. In hand work helps, pulsing the aids with toF can help too. (Are the hands too low or holding? What about pulsing inside leg???)

Barnmouser Ash · Grand Prix

I would just like to note that although you are moving on to a new horse, that doesn't make you a bad horse owner or anything of the sort. It's understandable to realize you have expectations that exceed your horse's current abilities, and given your goals, it makes more sense to find something that will get you moving along in the right direction. Not every horse is meant to be a PSG mount, no matter their ability. If that were the case, we wouldn't have a lot of "elite" riders that we have now. Your horse may have issues that can be worked through, but it sounds like you're doing what's best for the both of you by moving on and giving him a happy job elsewhere. There's always later on if you decide to come back to him.

DustBuster · Yearling

Thanks again everybody! :)

When I say giving up on him, I mean that in a general sense. I've had him for 8 years, and I always just thought he was capable of ANYTHING. I had (and still do!) him on a pedistal (sp?). That doesn't mean I'm not still going to work with him. As I continue riding other horses to better myself and doing these dressage lessons, I plan on using what I learn on Dusty too. I think it will be best for both of us that way. BUT he's just not built to do what I really want. To make him use himself properly is just so hard for him, not only because of the way he's naturally built, but because of his injury a year ago AND he's just so stubborn. I've tried for 8 years to get him to use himself properly, to become soft/round in my hands and to BEND. Just very basic things, at the walk. And he'll do it, to an extent. To the untrained eye, it looks pretty. But really, it's not working. I know it's both of us, after riding mostly just him for the last 8 years, we know each other TOO well. Our bad habits play off one another. He knows I want him to canter before I ask him. I just think we've come to an end of the road. After all I've been through with him, and after his injury last year (not to mention he also is a roarer with a chronic cough, as well as a small heart condition) I just know he'll be way happier with kids. It's what he loves, and if it means I just have to jump on and do a little "tune up" every once in a while, then that's fine. He's super fun to jump on for a gallop and to pop over a few fences. Nikki hit the nail on the head, it'll be so nice to just have fun with him after these past 8 years! Him and I have a bond, and I feel like when he's enjoying what he's doing, he'll jump the moon if you ask! But when it comes to getting more technical with him, he doesn't try for you anymore. He's not willing to please, he's more like "enough already!".

We've been through a lot these last 8 years. He was there for me after each of my stupid teenage heartbreaks, after every fight with my dad, while I was pregnant he took such amazing care of me and he's always there for a hug after a bad day. I think he deserves to just be lazy and be spoiled rotten by a teen girl that loves him as much as I do. Right now, my BM's 11 year old daughter is taking him to schooling shows, and he LOVES her. He's a big guy, and because she's only 11, her upper body strength isn't what it should be to make him work properly, but you should see him try with her! 2 weeks ago at a show, they entered the "crossrails beginner" division, and over both jumping courses she did with him, he got every lead over each fence and even though she cut all her corners and came at jumps from odd angles, he jumped for her anyways. Any other horse would have stopped. My younger sister showed him when she was 15 and when they won every class at a show, I bawled my eyes out (really, it was embarassing for those standing with me!). My mom asked "are you crying because of your sister or your horse?" and my answer (while wailing away) was "my horse! he's just so.... awesome!"

aw crap, now I need kleenex! You guys are the best! I'll keep you all updated and post pictures from this season of Dusty showing!

Emiry · Advanced

Sometimes you just need to do whats best for the horse, and it seems he enjoys younger riders. I'm glad you could face the reality, and to ask him to do the impossible.

When looking at a new horse, keep an open mind, and find one who can do what you want to do, but don't compare it to your special horse.

I hope that one day I can find a horse to have a bond with like you do! The pony I ride right now I "click" with, but he's not special. Actually it turned from a complete hate relationship, to we being able to read each other. (He's a lesson horse).

I cried when reading your story, and I wish you the best of luck.

Nikki Salo · Grand Prix

Wonderful advice Emiry in regards to keeping an open mind when looking for a new horse and taking each horse as an individual. Love that advice!

Queenrider · Advanced

We had a boarder at our barn who was also a dressage judge. She wanted to breed her own horse so she saved up her pennies and went for it. She leased a broodmare and got her bred to a top dressage stallion. This foal had the best of everything. When he was ready at 3 he was professionally broken and trained. She started showing him and over a period of time it was obvious he did not like dressage! He was 5 years old and she had sunk a fortune into him. She sent him out to be tried as a hunter and all of his training and showing problems disappeared. He was sold as hunter and does well in the hunter shows. There is no point in forcing a horse to do something it does not like to do. Kudos to her for letting him go to his new career.

-- Edited by Queenrider on Thursday 26th of May 2011 03:35:14 PM

DustBuster · Yearling

Thanks Emiry! I love that advice too!

So far when I look online at horses for sale, I tend to lean towards the ones exactly like my guy! Luckily my coach isn't going to let that happen, she's pretty determined to get me something completely opposite. I'm just not sure which discipline I want to do. With Dusty, I was pretty lucky that he was able to do mostly whatever was needed. He's evented, done hunter, jumper, the quarter horse circuit and then before his injury it was easier getting him to do some dressage. I think I'm going to look for that same versatility, or at least look for a horse that can event, because as much as I love dressage, I need to jump too! I just still need that level headedness that my gelding has, I absolutely have no patience for crazy and unpredictable! That's why I've given myself a year to ride as many horses as I can, I need to find what type of horse is best suited for me!

I'll keep you all updated, and I'll try to bring my husband along to videotape the falls that are destined to happen over the course of this learning experience.... not that I'm being negative.... I'm just really good at falling off other people's horses. lol.

Barnmouser Ash · Grand Prix

Good on you, DustBuster! An open mind and an acceptance of things to come can only help you :)

MagsNMe · Advanced

The story QueenRider tells is the one I'm hoping to avoid with my yearling. His Mom was destined for the jumper ring (way too dominant for dressage), his Dad is a perfect little dressage pony, and I'm hoping he likes the dressage. And for those of us who are so emotionally invested in our horses, it's pretty hard to let them go. I know my big mare will be staying with me, and I'd hope to half lease her, but she has way too much buck for most people. What to do, what to do. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Nice to have lots of supportive folks around when the time comes!

DustBuster · Yearling

I just thought I'd share my search so far!

My coach was at an Arthur Kotta's clinic this past week and found 2 mares that she says are exactly what she'd love to see me riding.

Here's a link to the first mare with a video of her as a foal http://www.arcadesgrove.ca/horses.html her name is "Define"

She's now 3, dapple grey and already 16.3hh. I have a video of her in my email (I can't figure out how to get you guys a link for it!) of her running in a field last March.... and can she ever move! The other mare is 5 years old out of a Hanoverian stallion and I have yet to get a video of her.

I rode Dusty yesterday and had such a fight with him! He's going to a show next weekend with the BM's little girl so I thought I'd jump on just to "tune up" a bit. Even the simplest things he fought me on. I love him to pieces, but I can't wait to not ride him on a regular basis anymore! I'm just so sick of fighting. :(

prospect · Advanced

DustBuster wrote:
I just thought I'd share my search so far!

My coach was at an Arthur Kotta's clinic this past week and found 2 mares that she says are exactly what she'd love to see me riding.

Our coach was at this clinic - she was riding a stallion - it is just up the road from us.

DustBuster · Yearling

My coach was also riding a stallion.... hmmmm possibly the same coach!

DustBuster · Yearling

Hey Everyone!

I rode in a lesson today on my BM's old TB gelding. Holy. Crap. SO different from my Dusty!

I felt like I couldn't steer, and like I was springing off the back of the saddle while posting trot, even though my coach claims it didn't look that bad, I think she was just trying to keep me positive haha! But really, I'm so used to Dusty being so flat and downward feeling, but this TB guy is more uppity, with good bounce and swing.... just totally different then what I'm used to! But overall it was a good lesson, I learned a lot! I can't wait to apply it to riding on my own. I rode this TB gelding last week and Dusty didn't even care when I didn't take him out for a ride, but today he stood at the gate and waited for me to come back. Luckily, I came armed with mints. He nudged my hand while I was doing the gate back up though, as though saying "um, forgetting something?" I felt so bad!

But I just wanted to update on my adventure so far of riding different horses! My coach wants me to come out and ride her Andalusion stallion, who she claims is not intimidating and is straight forward to ride. I think it's something to work towards, but I feel like such a beginner so far! I've already started to appreciate all Dusty has taught me and I already miss his "level head" after riding a TB! On another note, Dusty was a huge superstar in our first home barn schooling show this past weekend! I was very proud of him, and at the end of the day he came home with many ribbons. I made sure he got spoiled with cookies later, even though I had to walk 5 acres in my tall boots to give them to him. lol.