I would NEVER let fear stop me from doing anything.

I agree, Barnmouser Ash! 

Fear is not an emotion I suffer from often, but as a coach I think it's a good thing that it does happen to me.  I am a more understanding and effective coach as a result.

Additionally, fear is often based in rational evaluation, and should not be lightly dismissed.  My husband has suffered some truly horrendous injuries as an athlete, because he does not understand or reasonably evaluate risk.  I think there are times when fear SHOULD stop us from doing things, it's a feeling which is meant to protect us.  I have seen trainers and coaches demand utterly impossible things from riders, and only the riders' fears stopped the process and prevented accidents.

On the other hand, fear which is overwhelming in the confrontation of a reasonable requirement or task is another issue.  I do think that learning to control fear, and work through fear, is an invaluable skill, for both riders and horses!

True guys!

I should have clarified. I was thinking in terms of fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of being judged...

As far as the fear instinct, I totally agree that you have to listen to your gut in terms of really dangerous situations. And choosing not do something dangerous is not the same as being cowardly!

That's really neat, NU. I think I never really responded to the question for myself... I'm not really sure what I would change about myself or how I do things horse-related. I guess I'm kind of a 'hermit' when it comes to riding with others and showing. I find that working with horses on my own allows me to focus more and not worry about what other people are doing. This is true in all aspects of my life, as well. So I guess maybe I would like to go for trail rides or just 'get-together' rides more often. I've only ridden with another person 3 times in my life, and I think it could be beneficial to be a little more social.

It sounds like a lot of people have similar issues/concerns holding you back.

Thank you all for your openness. I am including self-confidence and self-love as part of the coaching program I'm developing. Honestly, so many people have identified these issues as things they would like to change, it's obvious that some support is needed.

I appreciate your comments and would love to hear from others as well.

Thanks! -Patti

Patti - I think you have a good point. Everyone seems to have some kind of 'fear' of being judged more or less by their peers, or maybe even by their horse. I think it's important to have discretion when deciding not to care about what other people think, and valuing the opinions of others. It's a tough line to straddle and figure out sometimes, but if you can come up with a system that allows people to become more confident in their riding (confident in themselves being able to do something despite where they may be progress wise compared to others, mainly), that could prove to be an invaluable tool. Best of luck :)

Thanks Ash, and well-said.  It's always a balance.

Thanks for the encouragement, guys! My fear of cantering is probably a combination of a lot of different rides throughout my life! As a teenager, I had 3 separate occasions where horses bolted (and I was usually riding bareback at the time, come to think of it) and I fell off after trying frantically to stop them. One of them also would go into spectacular bucking sessions every time you asked for the canter so I came off then, too.

I didn't have a horse for about 20 years after I got married and built my career. I bought my Quarter Horse 6 years ago (when he was 11) and he's taught me a lot. Because of him, I got involved with Natural Horsemanship training and we have come MILES from where we were when we started. He's a retired racehorse, so there's a couple of issues with him. First, he leaps into the canter (he thinks he's breaking from a gate) and then he'll kick out after a few minutes. Usually I can ride through it but 3 years ago he kicked hard as he was making a turn and I came off. I got right back on and made him work through it and cantered again for a bit and then about a week later, with the help of an instructor, I did a really good cantering session with him in a 50' roundpen for almost 20 minutes before he started to get "that look" on his face and she recommended I stop while we were on a good note.

She got on him after and tried him out. She assured me he wasn't the easiest ride - I always felt like I was bouncing hard on him - and recommended in future that I not canter him in the roundpen anymore but let him go on straightaways in the arena. Unfortunately, since then I haven't really had a place with a decent arena - we did move to our own place and had to set the pastures up from scratch and then I had some major issues with my lower back, so the last year I haven't been able to do much with him, other than groundwork and the occasional walk-trot trail ride.

We have 2 small pastures on our new place that he could probably get a good canter going on a straight-away and we also have a 60' roundpen with a sand base that I've been doing groundwork in. So now that we're settled in, I'm hoping when the snow melts I can start him from scratch in the roundpen (following Clinton Anderson's method) and correct any kicking out he'll do from the ground, then progress to cantering, doing One Rein Stops and the "cruising lesson" (where you just let them go where they want but correct a break in gait) in the roundpen before taking him to the pastures to try straight aways.

I bought a new saddle that seems to fit him better and it's much better for me - a brushed suede - so I'm excited to try that out next year. I think I'll "stick" to the saddle a lot better. I really do think that if I was on a horse I trusted 100% that I'd like to go fast - there are times even on Phoenix where I'd love to open him up and let him run because I know he can - he's got Dash for Cash and Man O' War all over his bloodlines.

Any advice you guys might have on any of that, please let me know. I would probably call myself an advanced beginner - I can ride the trot bareback and I was almost to the point at the end of the summer where I could post bareback, too, so I think I've got a pretty good independent seat.

Thanks!

Hi Wind_Chaser,

Patti mentioned this discussion because I specialize in working with women over 40 who have fear issues (even long distance).  Cantering is a big one, so don't feel alone with it!  If you'd like to talk more about it and see if I can help you in any way, send me a PM.

Thanks! 

Jo

Joanne (Jo) L. Belasco, Esq.
Trainer, Clinician, Consultant
www.jobelasco.com