If you could do it all over again, what would you change?

Barbara F · Grand Prix

If you could do it all over again, what would you change?

Barnmouser Ash · Grand Prix

I got my first horse at the age of nine, and none of my family members (including myself) had any clue what to do with a horse. We barely knew what to feed them short of hay, and lucked out living in a very rural community; that is, we learned fairly quickly what horses need to survive, as we were surrounded by equestrians and farmers alike.

I've never had a formal lesson in my life, and I've ridden with another person less times than I can count on one hand, but I honestly like it the way it's been. I feel that I've taught myself well, and if I make mistakes, there is nobody to blame but myself. I like taking responsibility and ownership for the things I've learned, and being able to say I taught myself, opposed to "well, XYZ trainer told me to do it this way, so..." :)

When I had horses, I spent every day after school riding, lunging, grooming, and generally fussing over my horses. If the weather permitted, we would go for a short gallop across the back pasture after playing with some of the neighbours cows and going on a short trail ride (short meaning the trail was probably 200 metres). I always pretended I was Red Pollard when I was younger (after having read Seabiscuit). I'd take my old Arab mare out to the very end of the pasture, shorten my (western) stirrups up and race back as fast as we could. I imagine it was probably pretty dangerous and most likely attributed to her eventually fatal arthritis, but we both had a good time pretending.

Looking back on all of that, I have no regrets. I think I've done everything to my own standards, and I'm always continually learning and searching out new ideas, methods, etc, as well as old methods. I'm perpetually found with some kind of horse book or other publication, learning some new technique or reading about the ways of the past. I'm glad things have happened as they have; I have met my own standards thus far, and that's all that really matters to me :)

Whew, that was long winded! :) Great question, Barb!

MagsNMe · Advanced

Regrets, I've had a few.... I'll spare you my rendition of My Way.

That's a tough question, but, I have to say, that since changing anything would take me from the path that led me here, I can't say I'd change a thing. I did 20 years hunter/jumper (not well, mind you), now do dressage and love it. I can't say I enjoy undoing all the things I've had to un-do, but would I be the rider I am if I hadn't done exactly what I've done. I can't regret the NOT very nice horse that I got back to riding with, my hip that bent a steel jump cup might, but it got me back into horses and led me to the inimitable Cass, who is now my Mom's horse. I don't regret buying the weanling who is now 7 years old who threw herself over backwards 5 times while she was being started, who foundered so badly at 4 that she'll never live up to the potential she had as a GP jumper. I bought her half sister on impulse, which led to my Mom getting Cass. We got an adorable and talented little cutie from said 7 year old. And we love each and every horse.

I have spent more than enough to pay off my house. I have debt. I ride 5 times a week, all my 'vacations' are spent on horse shows or other horsey things. My friends (the few non-horsey ones I have) think I'm insane.

I said to my 'new' trainer (since May last year), "imagine where we could be now if I'd started with you 4 years ago"... her response was that maybe I wouldn't have been ready then. Maybe not. They say when the student is ready the teacher will come. Equine and human alike.

Regrets are common, but only what you've done can lead you to today, so never let them linger.

My two cents anyway

justice · Grand Prix

I just wish, once in a while, that I knew then what I know now. Maybe I would have approached a particular fence with a different gameplan.... maybe : )

Trouble Horse · Well Schooled

If I could go back in time, the only thing I would change would be that fateful moment when I should have listened to my gut and gotten off the unknown, bad-vibe-giving 4 year old, instead of staying on and almost breaking my back and destroying my confidence for a long time. Oddly, I don't regret not getting a horse when I was 15 (my one and only chance as a kid) as I would've stayed at home and gone to university there and probably had a completely different life because of it. Now when I get my first horse I (hopefully) won't be faced with having to make such a huge sacrifice.

Barbara F · Grand Prix

I also regret not "going for it" more often. That's going to change, though!

Barnmouser Ash · Grand Prix

Barb - good to hear you're going to be living life a little more on the wild side! ;) Or perhaps at least more adventurous side.

Nikki Salo · Grand Prix

I'm one of those people who believes that everything happens for a reason and sometimes you have to make a choice and yadda yadda, you guys all know how that is. That leads me to saying, that I don't have any regrets, except if I could of found another way to of kept my gelding that I miss so much, rather than selling him than I would of -- but if I hadn't of sold him, I may of not found Barnmice and the opportunities that it has lead me to aww

Barnmouser Ash · Grand Prix

I find that the "everything happens for a reason" outlook keeps me getting up in the morning, so to speak. If you dwell too much on past decisions or "should haves", you can't possibly enjoy the here and now. Sometimes I wish that I would have done things differently with certain horses or clients, but you have to take those things and learn from them, then realize that the next time something similar happens, you are equipped with the knowledge of what to do.

Nikki Salo · Grand Prix

Well said Ash, the past helps us prepare for the future aww

Goatgirl · Advanced

well said Barnmouser Ash...

No such thing as coulda shoulda woulda - the only thing that is is what is...and it happened that way for a reason-- we need to learn and move on...

and really what happened in the past has helped make us who we are today--

as that Deserata (sp?) says

the universe is unfolding as it should (it says somthing like that I think)...

Kathleen K · Well Schooled

I would have liked to have been more involved with the social aspect of the barn. I went, I focused on riding, I cleaned up, I went home. I spent very little time just hanging out with people at the barn. I was very shy when I was younger as well, so that didn't help matters. Now the barn I ride at is very quiet so I'm usually there alone.

I would love to have some barn friends to chat with - my poor family gets stuck with hearing about all my horse adventures for hours on end and they are just not interested at all. Thank goodness for the internet - I can chat about horses all the time.

Barnmouser Ash · Grand Prix

Kathleen, yes, thank goodness for the internet! :) Only Barnmousers can stand my constant blabbing about horses! biggrin

sedonasilver · Advanced

If I could do it all over again I would go back to the beginning when I first started dressage training with (a 4 year old) Lorenzo when we first had issues with frame and transitions. I would have stopped, taken a good look at the situation and tried to find a DIFFERENT approach instead of persisting with my coaches advice that he would 'come around' or that he'd eventually 'give up the games'.

I would have ditched my coach and hopefully discovered Philippe Karl in my research earlier and Lorenzo would have progressed much further, much faster, and much happier with virtually no issues. It wasn't Lorenzo, it was modern dressage that was hindering our progress -I dont blame him for objecting loudly when he was presented with low, blocking hands and strong, driving legs. The legs say go, the reins say whoa!

But I know better now and my new boy, Archie, will be a completely difference experience.

Sometimes you need to make mistakes so you can learn and progress. And you need to have an open mind as well :)

Jackie Cochran · Advanced

I had to learn the same thing Sedonasilver, only I was doing hunt seat.

I often think about how amazing my first horse was, and how patient he was when he let me figure out that what I was being taught had nothing to do with him.

I went back to Forward Seat and my horse was much happier, and for the same reasons, I stopped blocking his forward movement. It took me a few years to realize this, then I decided that my best way forward was to stop taking lessons. I tried to find a forward seat riding teacher where I live but I was disappointed. So my wonderful horse basically taught me how to REALLY ride.

My main regret is that 10 years later I let a dressage rider, with the best dressage teacher down here, lease this horse. When I got him back it took a lot of good riding before he stopped expecting to be "jazzed" up and settled back into being my old reliable trustworthy riding horse. I don't think I ever stopped apologizing to him for this.