There has been a lot in the news here recently about bullying, following the suicides of two teenagers who were the victims of horrific schoolyard and cyber bullying.
Interestingly, police says that the most vicious and unrelenting bullies are girls.
The news has got me thinking about what goes on in the horse world in on-line forums filled with anonymous posters. Some of the most vicious and mean-spirited things I have ever read are comments I have come across in various equine forums. Comments that are most likely posted by grown women.
What motivates grown women to become cyber-bullies? Is it just human nature and an extension of the bullying, cliquiness and criticism that go on in some barns, or it is something else?
Any insights?
-- Edited by Barbara F on Thursday 1st of December 2011 06:43:16 PM
Unimportant people trying to feel important? Ineffective people trying to feel effective? Ignorant people trying to convince others that they are not ignorant? People addicted to the feeling of anonymous hatred? Severe mental illness? "Cult" followers/people who are "brainwashed"?
This anonymous "hate mail" is the main reason why I am NOT anonymous. I stand behind what I write.
What disturbs me the most is that a lot of these anonymous hate mail mongers are often defending practices that are very abusive to horses. They also seem to have complete disrespect for ANY humane training or riding methods. I guess if you are willing to torture your horse just so you can fit in or win at competitions it is not a big step to being anonymously abusive to strangers or anyone who does not fit your definitions of "fit" human beings or riders (or horses for that matter.)
I have absolutely no respect for these people. Don't get me wrong, there are often valid reasons for anonymity, but that is no excuse to be abusive!
This is why I LOVE Barnmice, you all keep the abuse to a minimum and act when it gets bad. THANK YOU.
I agree Jackie, about the female vs. male, bullying. I have three sons and had to help them navigate the whole boy culture thing. Each of the three had completely different personalities and physical and verbal abilities with which to defend themselves. But I did have a lot of experience with the school culture having been a teacher. Some teachers actively deal with altercations between students (I did), some don't. It is a very complex subject and phenomenon. Often the kid who ends up getting disciplined is actually the victim of the bullies just lashing back, so you can't just deal with one half of the problem. At any rate all three of my guys survived and are mentally competent adults. I guess what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. i do think bullying has reached a newer pitch in recent times, I don't know exactly why.
Cyber bullying by either man or woman is deep rooted in one's perceptions of one's self. If you really read the context and not the words of bullies you will see there are several things that emerge.
First is the self adoration syndrome
Second is the better than other syndrome
Third is the lack of self respect syndrome
Fourth is the lack of integrity syndrome
On and on the list can be built. Simplified, it shows that those who bully have no self worth. They cannot stand upon the integrity of who they are for they do not know who they are. They use the power of being anonymous as their weapon and their shield.
sitting at a key board on the computer - I think I read somewhere - that people are so detatched from 'reality' - the fact that there is another person at the other end - they write things they would never ever say to another person face to face - they are hidden - it's worse than the psychological whatever thing that happens to people behind the wheel of a car - apparently people in cars can behave in ways they wouldn't when engaged in personal interaction - they are removed - detatched....but then some people are simply cruel anyway.....and I agree with all else that has been said in other posts